Adapting: How Canadian Are You?
Take our quiz and find out whether you are a true Canadian – no matter what your passport may say!
1. Someone bumps into you at the grocery store. You say:
- Are you blind, you idiot?
- No wonder you run into everybody. How about a diet?
- Oh my god, I’m so terribly sorry!
2. A police officer hands you a ticket for speeding. Your reaction:
- Doesn’t bother you. You know he is just jealous of your cycling skills
- You tell him to get lost in a language he won’t understand.
- You smile and say, “Thank you kindly, Sir!”
3. You are at a Toronto Maple Leafs game. Right in front of you, two players start a massive fight on the rink. How do you feel about that?
- Yeah, roughing is what makes this such a good spectator sport!
- That’s disgusting, I hate violence.
- I’m shocked – I thought Canadians had better manners!
At that very game, the Leafs win. You are …
- Not at all surprised.
- In heaven but also in shock and absolute disbelief.
- Disappointed, since you support any team that’s playing the Leafs.
5. It’s minus 25 Celsius outside. What do you wear?
- Time to put away the shorts, I guess. I’ll stick with a short sleeved shirt for now, though.
- Pyjamas, because I don’t leave the house in such cold weather anyway.
- My favourite lumber shirt and a toque.
6. You come across a beggar on the street who asks if you have a loonie. What does he actually want?
- To carry your coat.
- A dollar.
- Nothing other than insult you by suggesting you are a lunatic.
7. On the way to your office in the morning you stop for:
- A double-double and a bagel from Timmy’s.
- A decaf non-fat soy latte and a granola at Starbucks.
- The morning paper and a pack of chewing gum at a convenience store.
8. You run into your neighbour who advises you to clean out your eavestroughs. What does that mean?
- He’s telling me that he believes I have a problem with my hearing and should clean my ears. Maybe I had the music on too loud the other day?
- He’s letting me know that it is time to clean out the gutter on my roof if I don’t want it to get clogged up.
- He is suggesting a garage sale. He must have noticed that I can’t fit my car in because of all the junk I’ve got piled up in there.
9. Why are the Canadian Mounties called Mounties?
- This police unit started first in the Rocky Mountain region.
- “Mountie” is the proper name for the kind of hat they wear.
- This police force is “mounted” which means they are usually on horses.
10. Who was Tim Horton, founder of the popular coffee shop chain?
- A famous Canadian hockey player.
- A business man and doughnut lover from Buffalo, NY.
- An actor and comedian who had his own comedy show named “Timbits”.
11. Medicine Hat is …
- The cap of a medicine bottle, also used to measure liquid medicine.
- A city in Alberta.
- Some sort of Native-American ritual device.
12. You ask a bartender at the nightclub for a “Blue”. What will he give you?
- A punch in the eye.
- A beer.
- The key to his apartment.
13. You are interested in renting an apartment. The property listing says it had broadloom in all rooms. What should you expect?
- Mold on every wall.
- Big, wide windows that offer a magnificent view not only to you but also to any nosy neighbours.
- A thick, fluffy carpet underneath your feet wherever you put them.
14. What do you go to Swiss Chalet for?
- A ski vacation.
- Half a Rotisserie chicken.
- A facial and relaxing massage.
15. When you have a certain urge, you go to …
- The washroom.
- The restroom.
- The toilet.
16. When you have “a hankering”, you go to …
- The bedroom.
- The refrigerator.
- The doctor’s office.
17. What do you get at Roots?
- A hooded sweater with a beaver on it.
- Gardening supplies.
- A pint of Keith’s and a poutine.
18. Your wallet is usually overflowing with …
- Various credit cards.
- A lot of cash.
- Canadian Tire money.
19. Is there anything you pin to your coat every year at the beginning of November?
- Yes, but I probably lose it the day after and have to get another one.
- Uuuhm, a scarf maybe?
- No, but I know exactly what you are talking about!
20. Someone tells you they went to Upper Canada College, they…
- Are probably too poor to get into a proper college.
- Are from British Columbia.
- Were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
Add up your points and find out whether you qualify as a real Canadian!
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27 – 46 points 100 Percent Proof Canuck
No matter what it says on your passport, you can proudly call yourself a true Canadian at heart. You know basically all about this country that is worth knowing and don’t have to be afraid to run into any embarrassing moments when you have no idea what everybody else is talking about. Whether it’s about the Canadians’ favourite sport, coffee shop or slang words
– you have got it down pat, no doubt about that! Congratulations! This may still not get you citizenship status, but surely a lot of credit from the Canucks around you. Our tip: put your knowledge to good use and help out others who are not quite as adapted newcomers when you find them lost between eavestroughs, Timbits or Remebrance Day poppies!
13 – 26 points Apprentice Canadian
You are not doing badly at all in your attempts to fit into the Canadian culture. You have already acquired knowledge of many facts and words that are special to this wonderful country you chose to live in, but there is so much more to learn. Occasionally it still happens that you have no idea what your neighbour, a friend or co-worker is telling you and you may be too shy to ask. Also, other people still notice that you are not originally from here simply by the way you choose your words. Don’t worry – every Canadian is quite proud about their national oddities and will happily teach you the things you haven’t learned yet. Take a close look at our score chart to find out where you still have gaps in your knowledge. If you just applied for your Canadian passport, don’t get scared either – none of the questions in this quiz are part of the citizenship test you will have to take!
0 – 12 points Legal Alien
Let’s face it: you are either very new to this country and should be forgiven or you are a visiting American who is just not interested in any other culture than his own. Then again, what are you doing with this magazine in your hand? If you have just arrived here and plan to make Canada your home, you have a lot to learn before you don’t stand out as a foreigner anymore. You may think you know all the important facts if you can count the provinces, the prime minister and know the amount of GST you pay on everything. Sure, this knowledge may even get you a passport one day, but it won’t make you look like a Canadian in daily life. Take a look at your score, find out what the right answers would have been and study them! Or just be patient – all this knowledge will come to you slowly but surely, the longer you wander amongst this fascinating species called “Canadians”.